Yesterday was my first full day back at work.  I didn't even come home during lunch because I needed to run an errand for the high school choral program.  Marty was home alone all day.

We exchanged multiple emails and texts through the day.  I called him at lunch time to check on him.  Around 1, I got a feeling that something was wrong, but I wasn't in a location to call him.  I sent him an email to check on him.  He said he was fine.  I pushed a little harder, he said he was fine, but just resting.

When I came home from work, Marty still seemed a little off.  It was hard to put my finger on it, but he was just off.  I helped the girls make heart shaped cinnamon french toast.  (really wish I'd taken pictures, because they were so cute).  Marty didn't say two words through dinner.  All evening, speaking was incredibly difficult.  He would stutter and stop mid sentence and not finish.  Everything he did was strained.

As we were laying in bed last night, he rolled over, grabbed my hand and told me I was right when I called and asked him what was wrong.  Something was wrong, but he didn't want me to worry about him.  He was having a panic attack.  I asked him what he was worried about.  He said he didn't know if he could handle something bad if it happened.  I assured him nothing bad was going to happen.  He would be able to handle anything that happened.  I wish there was more I could do for him.

I wouldn't leave him if I thought he wouldn't be okay.  I have full confidence in him.  I have seen him react to situations before.  Because he doesn't have memory of handling things before, he doesn't have the confidence that he can in the future.  However, it's almost like instinct when things do happen.  For example, Jessica started the van yesterday morning without opening the garage door.  Marty instantly knew that the garage door needed to be open.  He said something to her before I even realized she hadn't opened it.  

I will continue to pray that the Comforter will continue to dwell in our home.  I will pray that Marty will feel His arms wrapped around him.

D&C 98:1

 1 Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;