Marty continues to be super tired. Everything he does completely drains him. He is napping multiple times a day. However, the effort that he puts out during his waking hours is really pretty monumental.
Marty still really struggles with large amounts of people. I think it is just overstimulating. He does great one on one, but groups is hard. Church yesterday just about did him in. He left about half way through Sacrament meeting to sit in the foyer. He stayed in the foyer through Sunday School. He tried to go to priesthood. During opening exercises, Will Sasine told Marty a story about Cody Hansen breaking his nose. Marty got a serious case of the giggles. He just couldn't stop laughing. Once opening exercises was over, he went to Elder's Quorum. However, shortly after it started, he just couldn't do it any longer. It really wasn't the fault of anyone in there, but he just couldn't stay.
After moving out to the foyer, Katie Gulbransen stopped to talk to Marty. Marty remembered Katie helping our girls out during a flight to Las Vegas that we happened to be on together. Marty was overwhelmed with emotion when he remembered that. Marty is very sensitive to his emotions. Sometimes he refers to himself as a 20 year old baby. I think it's sweet.
Every day Marty's verbal skills are increasing. He saw his speech therapist last on Friday afternoon. When he saw her again today, she remarked how much better he was speaking. She just started talking to him about a lot of things in casual conversation. At one point, his sister Becky came up in conversation. Marty started to cry. Amy was very apologetic for making him cry. Marty said he'd rather talk about Becky than list the states in the northeast. (lists seems to be the norm for speech therapy). Amy said well noted and they won't do lists any more.
This evening we joined the Isabell, Glazier, and Siedel families for Family Home Evening at the Isabell home. I was quite concerned that Marty would not be okay with so many people. However, he did great. He talked a lot. Some of the people there had never heard Marty speak (at least in the last month). They were shocked. Marty actually read two scriptures out loud. He hummed the opening song. He noticed the smell of baby lotion when they were changing a baby's diaper in the other room. He was able to share things he was thankful for.
While we were there, Marty had a chance to talk to Bishop about some of his experiences. Marty shared with him his struggles with anger. He talked about wanting to blame someone. When I told him there was no one to blame, he blamed God. He then realized God wasn't to blame. Since he had no one else to blame, he blamed me. Then he realized that it is dumb to be mad at the person that does everything for you. He then became mad at himself. Then he decided it was dumb to be mad, so he stopped. Funny how someone can just decide to stop being mad. If you were to go back through the blogs you will find many days of anger. However, we have made it three entire days now without a single angry outburst. That's not to say there hasn't been emotion, because there's been plenty, but none has been anger. It was great to hear Marty explain the process to Bishop. Bishop recommended Marty read a poem call the Poison Tree.
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
Night & morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree.
On the way home, I asked him if he was okay. He said he was, just tired. I told him I was worried about him. There were a lot of people there. He said they are all his friends. He likes his friends. I told him I was proud of him for reading the scriptures. That is the first time I've heard him read a scripture out loud since the stroke. He said it was hard and gave him a headache. I asked if he wants to take turns reading during family scripture study. He said, not today. "Do you know what we are studying, it's hard, I don't understand"
This evening we were talking. Marty said, "did you remember when Amy said when I started talking it would be like a flood gate and it would all come out at once. I think I have been so angry for so long and I just couldn't get the words out. On Friday when I blew up, it caused so much pressure, the plug came out and now I can talk. There was so much pressure that it melted my brain back together. It may not be perfect, but now I can say it." It isn't perfect. There is still an innocence about the way he talks. He stutters a lot when he can't find the words. He'll admit sometimes he can't remember a word. Or he'll say a word and not know what it means. However, the flood gates have really opened. The release of the anger has turned to motivation.
2 comments:
It was so good to run into you guys tonight - too bad the light didn't stay red longer, we could have talked a little more! :-) As we drove away, Norah said, "I like that man!" She was so excited that Denver rolled her window down so she could say hi to Marty, too!
A motivated Marty is someone you don't mess with!!! He has the will and righteousness of Nephi and Captain Moroni!
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